Hello… Is there anybody out there?
I’m writing from my kuti (small hut) at Tisarana Buddhist Monastery in Perth, Ontario. I’ve been here since the summer / fall of 2023 and its been quite an adventure both inside and out to say the least.
After spending several months here initially as an unordained layperson, I decided to go into white clothing and shave my head (and eyebrows!) as an anagārika (postulant) for a year to try out monastic life more fully and practice the Buddha’s teaching. It’s meant to be a year of service to the community where one learns the basic processes and routines from the inner perspective of the monastic Sangha (community of monks) and decide if it’s a good fit before ordaining as a sāmaṇera (novice monk). This means doing a lot of basic tasks like cooking, cleaning, preparing alms bowls, preparing seating arrangements, arranging flowers, offering food, yard work, attending senior monks and generally being on hand for whatever comes up. It still affords plenty of time for solitude and meditation practice but it does entail a rigorous and demanding schedule overall.
The day usually starts around 4am with group meditation and then chore period, followed by breakfast, clean-up and then work period. Work is seasonal but often involves lawn maintenance in summer, wood splitting & stacking, cleaning the barn or workshop, fix-ups, clearing forest paths, shovelling snow in winter etc. We have our last meal of the day around 11:30am, clean up and then usually have the rest of the day free for meditation practice until evening puja (group meditation) at 7pm but often there are extra duties for anagārikas. We live on 8 precepts which cover the main training guidelines to help foster a life of discipline, renunciation and virtue. Fully ordained bhikkhus (monks) abide by 227 rules which govern a far more detailed approach to Buddhist monastic discipline.
The monastery is situated 15 km from the nearest town on almost 200 acres of new-growth forest and marshy farm land. The terrain is relatively flat, rocky and surrounded by lakes or wetland. The deer are always close by and the variety of birdlife is truly stunning. It’s not uncommon to see beavers, porcupines, foxes, snakes, snapping turtles, bald eagles or even black bears on rare occasions. Moose are very rare but possible. You can hear the coy-wolves howling at night and the stars are something to behold when it’s clear. There’s even borealis visible if you’re really lucky. We spent whole days out on the lake in our canoes during summertime and meditating on the islands. Mosquitoes in June can be horrific. Deer flies in July aren’t much better but you gotta watch out for the ticks. Deer ticks are by far the most dangerous thing out here as they carry Lyme and other parasitic diseases and so we check ourselves daily. I pulled some off me that were smaller than the head of a pin and barely visible but equally dangerous as the bigger ones.
This is a Thai-style forest monastery within the Theravāda tradition of Buddhism. Ajahn Chah was a 20th century Thai meditation master who serves as the foundational figure to many branch monasteries like this around the world and in Thailand. Luang Por Viradhammo, now a bhikkhu for over 50 years, was one of his disciples and he is the abbot here at Tisarana. Living with and learning from him has been an absolute blessing. He is a man that is down to earth who moves and speaks with effortless grace, boundless wisdom and compassion, and is also capable of great humour. My parents were visiting once and my mom was questioning him about the colour of the monks’ robes and Luang Por confirmed that they are indeed “baby-shit brown”. He also spoke poignantly last year at a very public funeral in Ottawa for a Sri Lankan family murdered by a deranged young man and was visibly moved to tears throughout the ceremony after spending a significant time consoling the lone-surviving father. He is a master craftsman, a great story teller and one of the most spiritually open-minded people I’ve ever met while representing the most conservative tradition of Buddhism there is. He’s also seen Hendrix live! Needless to say, he’s pretty cool.
Inwardly my time here has borne great fruit. I’ve been challenged since day one and constantly reminded by daily living about the virtue in putting community first. There’s seriously limited control over one’s usual preferences. The schedule can be both dizzyingly hectic at times or restlessly wide open. Seniority is king so that one is constantly bowing to Buddha rūpas (statues) and deferring to elder monks whilst being corrected or admonished over trifling details. One is expected to memorize long complicated passages of chanting in the ancient Pali language and observe traditional Asian customs, gestures and courtesies. There is opportunity everywhere to provoke the mind into intense craving or revolt but all within an environment that is simultaneously supportive and nurturing, as if to say “Just wait, don’t react, watch the mind. Let go.” Within this arena, as the consistent daily practice of meditation and reflection accumulates, deep inner silence can be witnessed and pure awareness can become the background feature enveloping everything one does. The personality, the opinions and reactions are then seen as something conditioned and unreal, while the silent knowing of awareness becomes clearer as the ultimate reality of one’s being. This is where liberation from our chaotic mental world is and it’s quite profound but also very natural and innate because it’s familiar to each of us during our more peaceful moments.
It’s been a dream of mine for many years to give this life a try and see if living as a monk could be a suitable venture. It was the right time for me to go for it and so I did. It’s been mightily challenging and rewarding too in many ways but the biggest challenge, perhaps obviously, was not having a direct musical outlet. While I relished the quiet communal atmosphere, living in the forest, the opportunity to focus on contemplative practice and close association with some very wise humans, after some time I realized it’s just not fulfilling enough to devote myself entirely to a life that excludes musical expression. This might seem fairly obvious to anyone who knows me… but I needed to get there. I needed to know this deeply to put it down. Otherwise I might have always wondered about it and felt like I left something on the table. What I learned from this was a fuller appreciation of the heart-opening qualities music brings me and how important that is for my spiritual wellness.
I feel incredibly grateful to have had this opportunity and I owe that to the community here including especially Luang Por Viradhammo and Tan Amarasiri along with all of the wonderful bhikkhus I’ve met. The resident lay community here is truly fantastic and make life very harmonious for everyone. I can’t recommend this place enough to anyone who’s interested in visiting or learning more about Buddhism or monastic life. It’s a special community and I plan to make it a refuge for myself going forward.
Since disrobing last month, I’m finishing up my time here until the end of winter retreat. It’s the quietest period of the year amidst the snowy desolation and the schedule is much lighter to allow maximal opportunity for solitude and Dhamma practice. My plan is to return home in the spring and continue my musical life maybe a little wiser, lighter and more at ease. I’m looking forward to sharing musical offerings for all those interested and being available for instruction.
Thank you to all my Patrons for continuing to support my music online and all those following me on YouTube. You have made this journey for me possible and given me a path for return. I hope the content has been valuable to you in some way.
My love and best wishes to all of you,
Corey Heuvel — March 2025